Chapter 3: White Magic, by Ahool

Chapter 3: A book, a portal, and a bunch of random junk

Last thing I really remember was seeing Jess in her room, a bunch of fire and a diseased squirrel.

So as the dragon escalated higher into the air I saw ANOTHER weird shape and this is what it looked like: scorpion tail, bat wings, lion body, and the most awful of all, a distorted human face with blood dripping from its awful grin. A manticore. I don't know why in the world I did it. I guess I thought it was a dream, but I stood up on the dragon's back, leaped onto the manticore and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! " while jabbing it with a plastic fork.  I probably looked like a psycho committing suicide.

I saw an image of her sitting on her bed, safe. The beast I was sitting on was thrashing madly. "GET OFF OF ME PUNY MORTAL!!!!!!"

"In your dreams, rat breath." (Seriously he needed some mints.)

Then a squirrel that was foaming at the mouth came out of NOWHERE and leaped on the beast's face, giving me some time to escape. I was so caught up in the moment I chucked my book into the air and it exploded into a portal. "WHAT DA HECKS?!" The manticore reared in mid-air and I fell into the portal.

"I REGRET NOTHING!!!!!!" I yelled, and then I blacked out. I woke up in a stinky, smelly place that smelled like death. I saw a candle "Vanilla death" (Oh, that  makes sense) Then I saw a plate of bacon, so I was like, "Oh cool, I can live with that," so I started eating the bacon (om nom nom... ) Then I  started walking around with my plate of  delicious bacon and I came to a table that had candles on it so I was like, "They are so colorful!"(sarcasm) They were mostly brown and ugly colors.  I saw a label that said (Unicorn turds) "Ewwww." I walked down another corridor and saw a plain, normal-smelling candle and poked  it. It erupted into flames ^_^. I picked it up and danced to gangnam style o(^-^o) (o^-^o) (o^-^)o.

I heard a creepy scream. I ran in that direction like I'm gonna save sombody's butt today! I finally got to it and saw a vampire carrying a random person. "Who are you? Life gaurd?"

But he just growled, "Get to your cell, worm, before I bite you and suck out all your blood until you look like a deflated whoopie cushion!" 

"I DON'T WANNA!"  I threw bacon at his face, kicked his shin, and grabbed the girl he was carrying. But  she resisted and pushed me away. So I was like, "What, you want to die or somethin?!"

I saw the vampire was wearing a cool mask. "I WANT A COOL MASK!!" I grabbed it and put it on my face. But  he picked me up by the hood.

"NOBODY TOUCHES MY HOODIE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"  

The girl said, "Run or you'll die, so move it!"

"Fine.." I grabbed her arm and ran, leaving my beloved plate of bacon sad and alone on the ground. Then  she created another portal. Before she pushed me in, I sat on the ground and pouted (everyone hates pouting children). The girl made a sparkly ball of sparkles. I blacked out for the second time. To be continued....